You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2011.

What do you people think goes on at women’s colleges? Hm? Think we all just get on the same menstrual cycle, trim our mustaches in the library bathrooms and defile shrines of male reproductive organs?  Well, maybe one or two of those, but that’s beside the point.

I told myself I’d never start a sentence with “As a feminist” or “Sexism” so… What does bacteria and sexism have in common? They’re alive.  Both are hard to see most of the time, so therefore they are usually ‘out of mind’.  But when you look at the cold hard facts and see the aftermath (athlete’s foot, Walmart time slips), it’s no longer a question.

Everybody ready for me to whip out the F-word? Wait for it….

FEMINISM!

Phew glad that’s out there and ready to be thrown about freely.  I finished my senior year in high school thinking feminists were some awful, hairy, angry group of people. That’s not an uncommon belief! I’m sure there are some feminists who fit that description, just like some Muslims (I’m going there) want to kill the infidels. Don’t you HATE that the minute percentage of crazies get to represent their group?!

K, I don’t know where I was going with that other than just letting you know that the big scary F word just means that women should have the same rights as men… which is, hm, just SO crazy.  Conclusion: unless you’re a raging doosh, you’re a feminist.

So let’s talk about the whole ‘get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich’ thing that’s coming out of the mouths of many males recently. Don’t get me wrong, there are a slew of woman jokes that I find hilarious. But really? So many youtube videos showing a female doing something is followed by highly rated comments like: “well that wouldn’t have happened if she had been in the kitchen” …. Ha. Ha. Ha.

                                                                         ^ Sober.

Ho ha! Back for more are you?

There is well known phrase that has been circulating the population for ages and it goes a little something like this: “Don’t ever room with your best friend” But you know what, that was probably coined tens of thousands of years ago, and really isn’t relevant in our modern world today.

Last year I met a girl who changed my life.  She made up for the years of on again off again friendships that meant nothing.  She has filled a space in me that has been vacant and empty. I’M IN LOVE! but don’t worry, it’s just platonic soulmateship.  And lemme tell ya, that’s a thing. Oh right, and she’s my roommate.

Her identity will remain hidden.  We’ll call her O.

We spend approximately (hmm 12 + 10 – 4 x 8…) all day & night together.  We’re quite a team, I must say. A real Watson & Robin… wait…

So while some roommates are glaring at a soggy tissue crossing the duck tape border to their side of the room, we are cooperatively sniffing out the source of a salty/meat-like smell.  While others fume about their roommate yelling on the phone for hours, we chant our “hare krisna”s in an attempt to meditate. While others…nah that was enough.

While she makes up in fullness of lip and bosom size where I am found to be lacking there of (wow what a first-half-of-a-sentence)…we complement and we compliment each other (see what I did there?).

We both love to laugh. I throw out my attempts at humor and she provides a full, hearty laughter to follow.  I personally don’t have a great laugh, but O, her laugh is like an iPhone. Quality and quantity. What a metaphor. Rest peacefully Mr. Jobs, damn I’m really killing the moment.

 

 

 

Here are some of the things we discuss:

-opposing stances on abortion

-food

-football

-poop

-boobs

-other things with double 0’s

-social constructs of gender and sexual orientation

-furry friends

-whether or not we should go to the gym

-NPR

-my androgynous youth

-drunk people youtube videos

-cat youtube videos

-many more youtube videos

 

Things we don’t discuss:

-Russian Literature

-rugby

-fashion

-ponies/pony fashion

-sororities

-locomotives

 

Thanks for being my life partner and for never taking my advice on what may or may not give you cancer and laughing at all my jokes. Love to you from me.

Hope all you people who aren’t O can relate to this in someway… if not, stay tuned 🙂

If your religion only allows you to read women’s college topics and such, steer clear.

Gonna hit that rewind button that’s covered in marinara sauce & all natural peanut butter for a second and tell you about Milo.

I’ve been begging my mom for a dog for about a year. I should clarify, we have a dog, my favorite pup in the world, Homer.  He just turned 13 and we’ve had him since he was 6 weeks old. But being the greedy, unsatisfiable poop I am, I want another.

Such a preshie-weshi! just wook at that missing tooth.

Since he’s an old man now, he’s mostly blind and losing his hearing and I thought a companion would cheer him up and comfort him. I was half right.

We got him a harness recently so we can steer him more efficiently when we go on walks:

so fancy in his tux.

Anyhoozers – I beg, beg, beggity begged and FINALLY (and rather surprisingly) both ma + pa conceded at the end of last summer.  We visited countless animal shelters and rescues, never falling in love, never finding a perfect fit, always leaving feeling defeated, our hands sticky with the slobbery kisses of homeless pups.

Then, by the grace of whomever governs the universe, we found Milo.

10 months old, rescued from an abandoned house with doody on the floor and trash bags full of cut up dogs (serious), all part of a nasty cruelty case that may or may not show up on Animal Planet one day (probably not).  He had lived there for the first 6 months of his life with his mom and fellow adorable puppy litter mates.  But the real reason we chose him was because the shelter had named him ‘Giggles’ and that right there, that was the real tear-jerker.

Now he’s part of our family but I never get to see him because I’m at college! HAH! what was i thinking…..

So they’re brothers now. I throw up from cuteness overload quite a bit.

I probably lost all of the non-animal-lovers a while back… but I’ll make a connection to the overarching theme of my blog just for the sake of it now:

Any dog walked on MHC campus will get more attention from the students than a limping zebra gets from lionesses on the hunt for dinner.  I hope that didn’t sound wrong.  The dogs get pet a lot is all I was going for.  This is usually how it goes:

‘AW! What a cute puppy dog! Can I pet your puppy dog?’

‘She’s fifteen but yea sure’

‘Thanks! awww! I miss my puppy dog! What’s this one’s name? Mine’s name is Carta, like the Magna Carta. She’s brown and has one white paw! She loves swimming at our lake house in Maine.  She chewed up my camera case but I forgave her..’

‘Uh…This is Bison, see you later’

‘AW! Okay, bye Bison! If you ever need a dog walker…’

So much enthusiasm.  So much discomfort.

I’ll leave you with an aerial view of big and little brother:

(oof, tough angle Homer, sorry about that)

I’m in college and there are no males. But I’m okay with it.

Back when I was a mopey junior in high school trying to figure out just how far away I should choose to get from my home sweet home my mom found a women’s college a few hours away.

‘Just give it a chance! Think about it.. Humor me!’

‘Fill out the application why don’t you’

‘Let’s go on a tour!’

‘Golly isn’t this lovely! Look at that sequoia what a sight. Is that a goose I see? That’s a goose, gee wilikers they have a goose! ‘

‘O wow you got in! okay!’

No, my mom doesn’t actually talk like that. But it happened and I’m here and I’m a sophomore and it’s actually pretty great.

Now, I know what you’re thinking (unless I don’t know and I’m completely wrong) but no, we’re not all lesbians.  True, there is a rather high percentage and true, men come thinking that we are all desperate for whatever it is they think they have to offer.  But wow! Being in class and not having to worry about how your unbrushed hair looks or if your question is dumb or that you might be too enthusiastic about raising your hand is AMAZING.

I guess I’ve neglected to mention the name of this expensive great establishment…

It’s Mount Holyoke College out in good ole South Hadley, MA.

Yea, it’s breath-takingly gorgeous, get over it.

So I’m an English major. Maybe I shouldn’t say that incase I have some egregious typos or parenthetical phrases left open or run on sentences.

Since this is my first postamajig, I’ll keep it short.  Lure in some unsuspecting dopes who should by now be drooling for more.

I will leave you with what I think is pure genius, from Madame Bovary (If you thought I was joking about the whole English major business.. I wasn’t):

“…human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out tunes for bears to dance to, when what we long to do is make music that will move the stars to pity.”

What is make-up?

Tweeter Twats

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.